Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
