hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
