My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
