Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
