i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize