If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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