she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
