I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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