The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
