there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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