Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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