I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
