how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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