I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
