I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
