Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
