as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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