man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
