she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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