buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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