hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
