how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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