There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
