I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
