That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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