i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
