Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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