sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
