You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
