Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
