$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
zippers are such a cool invention
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
