i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
