thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
