He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
