new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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