I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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