Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
