If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
