He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
