we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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