Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
