its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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