im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
