You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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