I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
