i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
