Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
