Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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