Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
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