the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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