So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
