got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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